The pastor of a large church once said, “I learned as a pastor that if the preschool ministry was not going well, the rest of the church probably was not going well either.” After many years of ministry in a variety of churches, this observant pastor had identified one often reliable barometer of church health. 

Why would preschool and grade-school ministry be such an indicator of the state of a church? (For the purpose of this book, “preschoolers” refers to persons from birth until they enter first grade. “Grade-schoolers” refers to persons in grades 1-6 or 6-11 years of age.) My personal assessment is that childhood ministry touches families in profound ways. When a caring church values and nurtures children, church members also encourage and nurture the faith of all of the family members.

Preschool and grade-school ministry is very labor-intensive, requiring a large number of committed volunteer leadership to meet the physical, emotional, and faith needs of their precious children. When a church gives prime attention to ministry to “the least of these,” they are more likely to care about other details of ministry as well. The reverse is not predominantly true.

Increasing numbers of ministers and laypersons are recognizing the importance of their childhood ministry to the health of their church.  

 

Several prominent researchers[1] have documented that the majority of people make their life-long, faith-shaping choices and form their values when they are young. In a world that is competing in creative ways for the attention of our children, churches must offer meaningful, stimulating, age-appropriate learning and worship experiences. They also need teachers who will reveal the nature of God within their relationships with the children.

People’s attitudes toward church and God are often well formed by the time they reach early adulthood or even their teen years. Children respond to an attractive and safe space for learning and worshiping. They eagerly anticipate the special time spent with their caring and committed teachers at church. A child’s enthusiasm can motivate even the reluctant or weary parent who is thinking about “skipping church” that day.

Quality church experiences become especially critical for the child whose parents do not attend church or practice faith in the home. The church that reaches out to these children and their parents find a mission field “ripe for harvest” (John 4:35b). If most faith decisions are made when people are young, then the vital church must give serious attention and resources to ministry with children from birth.

 

Many well-meaning churches have assumed the primary faith-teaching responsibility of parents, and many caring parents have relinquished their faith-nurturing role to the church. Today’s families come in all shapes and sizes. All of these families need support, encouragement, and assistance in their God-given responsibility to “impress them [God’s commandments] on your children” (Deuteronomy 6:7).

Preschool and grade-school ministry involves helping parents to grow in their faith and knowledge of God and providing assistance in how to communicate their faith as they nurture their children. The church needs to plan intentionally how it will supplement the parents’ home instruction when the children are in church. 

The congregation that gives serious effort to reaching children whose parents are not involved in church also must give equal ministry effort to reaching those parents. Offering “a cup of water” is good but “providing the well” is better for nurturing a child’s growing faith. Parents who live their faith will have a greater impact on a child than a church experience alone can provide.

Childhood Ministry Makes a Difference to the Church 

In today’s world, most parents are looking for quality experiences for their children in school, sports, and music, as well as church. Children likewise have come to expect innovative, stimulating learning experiences in all of their activities.

The church that desires to reach young adult couples must have a first-class preschool and grade-school ministry. Adequate and attractive space, quality programming, family-friendly worship, as well as a safe and secure environment are elements that are of the highest consideration for parents who are selecting a church.

Today’s parents are looking for a churchin which their children will be happy with teachers who truly care about the children and are prepared to have meaningful, appropriate learning experiences with them. After they find a church that meets that criterion, then they consider the other aspects of a church’s ministry.

One youth and children’s minister explained that she had asked for the children’s ministry to be added to her youth job description several years earlier. As the children’s ministry under her leadership became more intentional in its teaching and discipling and as the children later became youth, they were ready for a deeper faith experience than the youth in the past were. A church that gives serious attention to the faith formation of all ages might discover that it has more spiritually mature members in the future.[2]

Childhood Ministry Makes a Difference to the Kingdom

Faith formation in the Old Testament Hebrew nation rested primarily on the parents (Deuteronomy 6:6-9), but the Jewish community was an extension of the family. God instructed parents to teach the children the commandments and to include the children in all of their faith practices. This preparation insured the development of individual faith as well as the spiritual strength of the Jewish nation.

Jesus taught us in Matthew 18:3-4 that “unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.” Jesus went on to explain to his disciples that “whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.” Not only do children need us to teach them and model a Christ-following lifestyle, but also we need them to remind us of what our relationship with our heavenly parent is at its essence.

When we read Jesus’ blessing of the children in Matthew 19:13-15, we often envision a kindly Jesus taking a break from his busy schedule to enjoy the children.   The Jewish blessing was very a powerful ritual that was more than a pat on the head. When Jesus placed his hands on the children and blessed them, he was initiating in them a force that would forever empower their lives. Jesus was asking for God on the behalf of the children to bring good into their lives. Because the parents had such respect for this great teacher, they believed that a blessing from him would carry great meaning because of his obvious relationship with God.

We, too, can bless the children through our words and through our relationships, but we have to understand the influence that we have. As we bless children in our families and in our church ministries, we set in motion a power in their lives that will connect them to God and to other believers.

In Mark 9:36-37 Jesus teaches his disciples (and us) a very valuable lesson about God. 

A church can provide a multitude of activities without developing Christ followers. Preschool and grade-school ministry must be more than child-care, entertainment, and/or activities. It must be more than providing “childcare” while parents are engaged in learning or worshiping. Church staff, parents, and lay leadership must know what preschoolers and grade-schoolers need to learn at each stage of development so that a curriculum can be designed to provide a strong foundation for Christian conversion and discipleship. Every time children are at church they need to be taught from the goals and expectations set by the parents and church for the nurturing of their children.

Myths about Effective Childhood Ministry

The success of any ministry is often evaluated by many different criteria. Here are some of the common myths about what makes an effective preschool and grade-school ministry: 

Myth 1: “If such large numbers of children are coming to (activity), then it must be effective.”

Some people measure success by the number of people who participate. If large numbers of children are involved in a ministry, then they judge it as successful without measuring the results of the involvement. However, some adults who attended church as children know very little about the Bible or the application of biblical truths to their lives. The church they attended knew how to draw children, but did not know how to disciple them. Children will respond to many activities at church, especially if their friends attend, regardless of the content received. 

Myth 2: “If this church has a large, wide variety of programming for children, then it must be effective.”

Parents often look for a wide variety of events or activities. They want music, missions education/action, Bible memory, Bible study, camps, fellowship activities, discipleship instruction, sports activities, weekday preschool programs, after-school childcare, etc. As a result, some churches think that they must provide every program, ministry, or activity parents and children desire. In reality, very few churches have the resources to provide a wide array of ministries while maintaining the quality and integrity of the content of the programs they already provide. 

Myth 3: “If children are having fun, then it must be effective.”

Some people look for churches with innovative, entertaining, or “fun” events. Children will respond to fun activities at church, especially if their friends attend, regardless of the intrinsic value of the content received. I call them “empty calories.” Most children would choose a diet of their favorite junk food, but we have an obligation to provide a balanced diet with good nutrients that will contribute to a healthy development. Likewise, all fun is not learning but all learning can be fun when balanced between good content and engaging teaching methodology. Churches often use cute gimmicks to attract children and their families to the church because they can get immediate results; but after the families are in church, no substantial spiritual nourishment is provided. 

Myth 4: “If there are many opportunities for my child to be at church, then it must be effective.”

Some parents count the number of events or activities provided for preschoolers or grade-schoolers. They want events happening at the church several times a week, especially for the grade-school child. They believe that children’s schedules need to be heavily programmed much like those of teenagers, and what better place to have children “dropped off” than at church! This is often true of families who home school and depend on the church for the socialization aspects of their children’s development. However, churches that rely on volunteer (often parent) leadership for the most part will find that providing a rigorous schedule of activities for children will “burn out” the leadership core as well as the children. Again, the quality of the program offerings suffer. 

Myth 5: “If this church teaches (specified content), then it is effective.”

People often evaluate the content of the programs based on their pet content. They want programs that have certain content, regardless of how effectively it is taught or how many children are involved. They are looking for specific content such as Bible memorization, biblical content, rote memorization of Scripture and/or doctrine, or other content that meets their standard of excellence without consideration of appropriate educational or life application needs of children and without consideration of a balanced, comprehensive content. Content is important, but the way the content is taught or presented affects whether the children engage the content and integrate it into their lives for more than an hour or two.

A Better Ministry Strategy 

While all of these measures have some importance, other criteria may indicate the depth and strength of a church’s ministry to preschoolers, grade-schoolers, and their families. As I have ministered in seven churches, and consulted with hundreds of churches and ministers in the past 33 years, I have identified some of the measures of successful preschool and grade-school ministries in a variety of churches. The church personalities, styles, and sizes are diverse; but the core values are quite similar in the congregations that successfully connect children to God, children and parents to a community of faith, and childhood ministry to the mission and/or vision of the congregation.

These churches are interested in more than activities and numbers. They want to make a significant difference in the spiritual lives of children, families, and the church; so, they have moved beyond both mediocre programming and “edutainment” fads to embrace a ministry strategy that is both foundational and inviting to children and families. They have ministered to children who have grown into youth and adults as faithful Christ-followers. They have attracted, encouraged, and equipped families to be the faith nurturers of all the family members. They have grown churches that embrace all members from the youngest to the oldest, and they have thrived.

Many churches are discovering that childhood ministry is deeply rooted in relationships. They are committed to proclaiming Bible truths and stories with integrity rather than simply providing programming that has a biblical theme. They recognize that childhood ministry is first and foremost family ministry. They have found ways to be inclusive of children in their congregational experiences rather than always providing a separate event just for the children. They recognize that “family ministry” is not just providing activities for all ages of family members, but it includes providing experiences in which the whole family can participate together.

This book is written especially for the minister or layperson who guides the childhood ministry in a church—a person who passionately believes in building “Enduring Connections” between a child and God, and a child and a faith community. Those “Enduring Connections” are rooted in relationships with parents, teachers, ministers, and others who care deeply for the children and live and speak of their faith.

Each chapter poses a question that will guide you in evaluating or beginning such a childhood ministry that weaves Enduring Connections.

 

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